Diane Lane: I'm the person I've always wanted to become

Diane Lane appears to have it all together, but she admits that looks can be deceiving.

This Hollywood veteran has four decades in the spotlight under her belt and has blended her family with husband of four years Josh Broline. (She has a 15-year-old daughter, Eleanor, with her former husband, actor Christopher Lambert; He has a son, Trevor, 20, and a daughter, Eden, 15, from his marriage to actress Alice Adair).

The longtime celebrity mom talks with Redbook about her life, her kids, and her new film, Nights in Rodanthe.

On having "one of those days":
"I couldn't find my car keys, I got stuck in traffic, and a little home-improvement project we're doing just turned into a major home-improvement project. I'm making my office into a serenity room, something like I imagine Oprah has. A place where you can go and pull the covers up over your head. But as one room gets upgraded, you have to do the next.... Sometimes you just want to wave the white flag!"

On her secret to life:
"I think the secret to happiness is having a Teflon soul. Whatever comes your way, you either let it slide or you cook with it."

On living her life right now:
"In recent years, everything in my life has mushroom-clouded — in a good way. My work life has grown, my relationship with Josh has grown, my responsibilities as a parent grew and changed. One day about a year and a half ago, I realized I can't put these responsibilities in a jar and tend to them later, especially when it comes to time with my family. Life isn't "when the kids get a little older" or "when Josh and I have the perfect quiet moment alone." Right now is all we've got."

On what really matters to her:
"As I take each baby step toward 60 [she's 43] and away from, uh, 20 [she lets out a big laugh], I'm realizing I have everything I need. I'm not talking about material possessions. To me, there's no greater reward than being around people you care about and can be present with. To be at home doing the crossword puzzle cheek to cheek with my daughter — that's a moment. Or to hear Josh going on brilliantly about some issue he saw in the paper. Or to realize I'm the person I've always wanted to become — or, should I say, the person I always knew I was."

On watching her daughter and stepdaughter change from girls into women:
[It's] Scary! Humbling. Poignant. Challenging. Frustrating. Sometimes I think opposable thumbs were invented so teenage girls could use text messaging. And now boys are coming into the picture. I'll get questions on that that just knock my socks off. I'll pretend to be cool about it, but inside I'm...[she pretends to faint]. But, hey, bring it on! I can answer that question about sex and try not to sound insane! [Laughs] These are girls, you must remember, who are growing up watching Gossip Girl and movies like Sex and the City. My daughter saw Sex and the City and said, "Mom, don't go. You can't handle the sex."

For the rest of the article pick up the new issue of Redbook on newstands now.